SEASONS

One day God spoke to me and said, “Be content with what you have and keep doing what you’re doing.  Don’t change anything.”  It took me many years to be okay with that, but I’ve been doing that for several years now, waiting on one of my biggest seasons to change.

Even though it doesn’t feel like it today (seeing as it is Spring and yet the cool weather will not relent!) the winter is gone (GONE I SAY) and we are in the Spring of 2013.  God promises that seed time and harvest will always remain.  The seasons will continue to change.  And so our seasons of life will also continue to change.  None of them come to stay.  One of the greatest phrases in Scripture is, “And it came to pass…”

I find that the things I long for at times will be here soon enough if they are God’s will.  I could go on and try to make them happen out of ambition alone, of course; but I have painfully learned and have chosen to yield my life to His purpose for me.  I must confess that most of the time I don’t know what the fullness of that looks like, even to this day.  He does that for a good reason, knowing me well as He does.  But I am learning to trust that, if my days are fashioned by Him and not by me, they will be very good.

I would love to join the worship team again.  I would love to spend more time at the House of Prayer in town – a dream that I wanted to give the Lord myself many years ago (kind of like David wanting to build God a house, but it wasn’t his assignment).  I wanted to volunteer at Greenhouse this past summer.  I would love to go on several adventures and be in the middle of many different things. (I would love to go to Disney World too!) Some people might look at my busy life and say, “Where would you find the time?”  That’s just it.  I am already quite busy with the season I’m in.  I would have to stop doing what I am currently doing in order to live all of the adventures that are in my heart.  But as David (my husband) often says, “Put ‘em in priority order and make ‘em line up and take a number honey!”  I’m learning to do that and God will reprioritize them as He sees fit.

Sometimes I feel guilty because I am not doing some of the things I desire to do.   But there is a lesson, even in that feeling.  God loves us and works with us through conviction.  It’s not condemning.  There is no shame in the mix.  There is a big difference between guilt and conviction.  One comes from the evil one.  God, by His Holy Spirit, lovingly compels us to things.  The enemy drives, prods, pushes, and shames us into things.  If we’re not careful, we give in to that prodding and the result is that we miss the peace that we are supposed to be enjoying in the current season.  We miss the closeness we are supposed to develop with those who are in the season with us.  We miss the joy of the seasons of rest, which are necessary after seasons of labor.  The enemy wants us to feel like we have to labor and fight constantly when Jesus said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  We are supposed to be yielded to His working through us anyway right?  We don’t actually exert the power and might, He does.  So even in seasons of labor, we are supposed to be at rest in Him.  And oh, how the enemy does not want that to happen.  He wants to steal everything the Lord intended for us to have.

Years ago, when Abbey was smaller, my parents were stronger and younger, and David could see better; I had a window of time where the Lord allowed me to travel, to do missions, to have a house of prayer, to pray with the city pastors, to sit under great teachers, and more.  He gave me tears that were not my own for Rutherford County for a number of years.  It was my season to plow and plant so that years later, others could reap.  Now, still others will also plow and plant for an even greater harvest.  And all those who labored in their season have a share in the harvest as well.  Don’t get me wrong, even in my current season there are times of great intercession, constant prayer for those I love, prayer over the city, my nation, and the nations; but when God changes your season; you learn to thank Him for it and move on.  You cannot pine away that you had to move on.  You cannot long to get out of it quicker than God intends.  You thank God for it and you look forward to what is in store in this new season.  If you spend your time wishing you were doing something else, you were someone else, or somewhere else; you’ll miss all that God has in store for you now.

I guess that’s why the Lord followed up, “Be content with where you are and with what you’re doing” with “Peace, be still.”  I once grieved for over three years about a season that passed and years later, I experienced it all over again when God first sent Susan Carter to Murfreesboro to plant a House of Prayer.  I love her dearly and really hoped to be a partner with her mission.  But as yet, other than serving on her board, it has not happened that I have much extra time to be on location with her, enjoying a ministry that I helped to plant years earlier. I would have to make significant changes in order for it to happen; ones that the Lord warned me about not changing even before the House of Prayer opened.  God is so wise and loving.  He is so good to tell us what we need to know before things happen so that we have an anchor to hold on to when we’re feeling left out, when we’re battling guilt from the evil one, when we long to do more than we’re doing now.  I’m not saying this because of how I feel today, but boy have I felt it in the recent past.  I’m saying this because I am finally learning to be content.

Solomon said, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).  It’s important that we each learn to flow with the season God has us in.  If we just make sure that we are daily talking with, listening to, obeying and knowing Jesus experientially and not just through head knowledge; He will direct us through each and every season.  A National crisis could call us all to arms at any time, but if we’re in our position with the Lord, we will know where we are supposed to be and what we are to be doing.  Each of us will have a post and we will be confident there because we will have been walking with the Lord all along.  If you’ve been sleeping or so sucked in to this present world and all it’s comforts, devoid of this Kingdom that is going on around you; you need to wake up.  This life of rest is a paradox.  We live life to the full with one hand and have a sword in the other.  In Christ, we should be ready for anything and yet at the same time enjoying life to the full.  The Holy Spirit will always give us a heads up if we are listening.  So we watch with attention to the world around us – the needs, the signs – and yet we are also fully attentive to the tasks at hand like raising our kids, meeting the needs of our spouse, reaching the lost in our sphere of influence, etc.  Truly, there is precious little time for frivolous things if you’re going to succeed in the most important things in life.

Years ago, in 1999; the Lord spoke to me to sell our home and move in with my parents.  That’s something you don’t see a lot of these days.  I know it was God because when we put the sign, “For sale by owner” in the yard, it sold and closed in 9 days and we made $30,000 profit on it.  David and I were approaching our 40’s then.  But the Lord said, “I want to take you to a new place; a new season.”  I also remember a Word He spoke to me in 2003.  He said, “You long for adventures.  You want to be in the forefront of things.  You like to go and do; but I made you a cornerstone; a foundation upon which great things are built.  It’s not a place you like to be, but it is the place I made for you.”  He was right.  There is a longing for more in me.  But at the same time, I have realized and others have confirmed where God has gifted me to bless the body of Christ, to win the lost, to encourage the downtrodden, to set captives free, to bring His presence into the inner space of those who long to hear His voice, and more.  It is so that they can go on to be in the forefront of things, to go and have those adventures I long to have.  Some sow, some water, and some do the actual reaping; but we all have a part in it and ultimately God gets the glory anyway.

So here I am today - still waiting on the Lord to change one of the seasons I’ve been in for the last 20 years or more.  (Sure, He has changed many smaller seasons all throughout this time, but this one has been a LONG season of training and preparation for something He promised many years ago – and I sense its imminence). Here I am now with a 21 year old considering marriage, long after I’ve taught her the things of the Lord, homeschooled her entire education, taught her life skills, about missions, and how to use her gifts of  wisdom and counsel.  Here I am with a husband, who we never dreamed would be on disability and would return for several more years of graduate school, and then go back into the ministry, but he did.  Here I am, still living with my parents who are now retired.  But we are all saved, we’re happy, we’re debt free, and have much less overhead than if we had 2 separate households.   God knew that at this time in all of our lives we would need each other and it has been a blessing these last 13 years.

I may not get to do some things I want to do right now, but again, “it ain’t over til it’s over.”  Regardless of what season I’m in, I’m going to keep doing the Kingdom work.  I’m still going to allow God to move through me to do signs and wonders in the earth.  I’m still going to pray.  I’m still going to preach to whoever will stand still long enough to listen.  I’m still going to make disciples, now through the venue of my counseling.  I’m going to love and support my husband and see God restore his vision one day (as He has promised many times).  I’m going to love and support my daughter and see her marry the man of her dreams and reach many more people for Christ.  I am going to faithfully see my parents through their golden years. I’m going to serve my pastor and be a servant leader as long as I am assigned to the body at Christian Life Church.  I’m going to take care of my home, cook meals (well try to anyway), tend my garden, and wait for that “suddenly” to come when God changes my direction.

(Actually, I think He might be about to change mine this year!  It’s like knowing your about to jump off a cliff at times.  You pray for years for it to come and believe for it in faith and then when it begins to happen, you’re sometimes scared spitless!  More about that later…)

God is driving my car.  He is at the helm of my life.  It has taken years to get me out of the driver’s seat and even longer to be at peace about it; but I’m finally learning to relax and enjoy this thing called “rest.”  I don’t ever want to become complacent and I will always have a secret delight for adventure – but I know He makes all things beautiful in their time.  The waiting is not so bad with Him in the picture.

So as I sit here at my computer, with only 1 dog and 1 cat (amazing isn’t it?)  I can be happy for those who are out doing what I would like to be doing.  And I’ll just enjoy these two precious animals, my family, and I’ll enjoy the Lord every day until something changes.  I will be faithful to Jesus regardless of the season.

I hope you’re enjoying your current season.  I hope that God is in the midst of your season.  Don’t allow yourself to fall into the sin of omission.  Do the work of the Kingdom wherever you are; whether your audience is a great harvest of lost people or the children in your own home. And drink Jesus to the full every day that you live.  And if you’re new to this whole reality of the Kingdom, don’t hurry yourself through the seasons of growing up in the Lord.   Don’t lollygaggle; just stay in step with Jesus.  Learn to walk with the Lord. It’s more challenging than it sounds – at least it was for me.  He’s got a lot to show you along the way.  You will get to each destination if you just stay on the path with Him.  Just get on the journey.  Stay on the journey.  Enjoy the journey, but don’t rush the journey.  Don’t long for another journey.  God sees the whole picture that we cannot see, so embrace every moment.

After attending the burial of a dear friend, I recall with great familiarity that life is short and we may not have tomorrow.  Don’t live your life unaware of the Presence of God, but also don’t worry about what you don’t have, what you’re not getting to do, or what tomorrow may or may not bring.  Enjoy where you are, keep God in the middle of it all, do the work of the Kingdom, and wait on the Lord.  Wait patiently on the Lord.  He will fulfill His purpose in you.  Really, you can let go of the wheel anytime now.